My Muse and Me Series
by Haldirsbaby
Summary: Series of small ONE shot stories about my life with My LOTR Muses and few others...An array of genres are here from humor to slight cruelty. Some with lessons to be learned..This part is hard to fill out. Haldir Main muse. Some Crossover to other fandoms.
1. Story ONE: Haldir's Boredom

**Haldir's Boredom**

by Haldirsbaby

Rating: PG-13

Genre: General, Romance, Humor

Characters: Haldir/OFC, Erestor, _mentioned -Orophin, Rumil, Legolas, Elrond, Galadriel and Celeborn._

Timeline: Modern times **not book nor movie verse**

Spoiler..Haldir is ALIVE!

Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR or its characters. They belong to Tolkien. This story is for shits and giggles. I do not Know Peter Jackson, I highly respect his work. However the OC is mine.

Warning: AU...Sexual banter, implications. Some foul language, but not hardcore. Prepare to laugh, cry, and down right roll on the floor. Not responsible for soiling your drawers. Make sure a towel is placed neatly under your rear-end. Characters ARE OUT OF their own Character.

Summary: Haldir is bored and I am tired. Find out how he acts when I get home from work. HET.

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><p>NOTE:To TOLK fans and Flamers: This is my story and I am sticking to it...I understand you want more original but guess what..i am a fan fiction writer..I add my own flare. For those of you with open minds..Continue...its funny.<p>

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><p>"Stop it, Haldir!" I screamed, slapping his hands away.<p>

"No, lirimaer. I want to see what happens." he said as he began to pull my hair lightly.

"I am tired! Gods, been workin' all day, and don't feel like writing." I yelled at him.

Suddenly I feel a light tug on my hair followed by a hand full of moving fingers in my side. "Please." he begged. He is so cute when he does it, his voice coming out in a childlike whine.

I huffed out a breath, and began to feel agitated. "Haldir, please leave me alone." I whined out, as I begged.

"No! You are my woman, and I am your muse. I demand it. If you love me you will do it." he demanded.

I looked at him, the audacity of what he just said ran right through me his smug grin just made it worse. He was toying with me. "Haldir! How could you say such a thing? Of course I love you, but I am tired." I said standing from my chair, my feet, legs and back aching. "How could you?" I said placing my hands to my hips.

He smiled at me, then clapped lightly. He stood and came to stand in front of me. "There you are, my fiery little, love muffin!" he tried to touch me, but I backed away, appalled. The only time he ever taunted me like this is when he was feeling frisky. "I love it when you get all-" he stopped, his eyes flashed, "..defensive. Turns me on!" his cheeky grin so cute, so handsome.

My jaw dropped. "You mean, you were just playing me, to get me riled up so I would fight you!" I growled out in irritation. "Ooooh, Elves! Why I oughtta...!" I balled up my fist and shook it at him. Then eyed him, he looked so cute standing there, his cheeky grin, his crystal blue eyes shining brightly. I realized I could not stay mad at him. I sighed a deep breath, and looked to the ceiling then back at him. "Damn! I cannot stay mad at you at all." I told him honestly, my tone greatly lightened.

He smiled sweetly, then winked at me. "I love it when you get like this." he commented again.

"But, Haldir, why go to such an extreme? I am hurting, tired, sleepy, not to mention, there are parts of me that aches, I did not even know existed." I said to him as I took my seat at the computer.

"Cause, my sweet little flower, I know, that you know, that you need me. You say you hurt, then strip! I shall rub my big, warm callused hands all over you to soothe your aches." he wiggled his brows at me, and smiled. He lowered his voice, and spoke, his voice sent chills up and down my spine. "Or...we..could...get in the tub...and...you know." he said smoothing up behind me, placing his hands on my neck, lightly massaging the sore muscles there.

I breathed out a relaxed sigh, "Ah, that feels good." I relaxed a bit more, reveling in the feel of his fingers working his magic, I smiled to myself. "If you think this delicious neck rub will change my mind. Think again. I know what you are trying to do."

The fingers stopped moving, Haldir whined out a little. "Man! What do I have to do to get some action around here? Arlothiyenne needs that fight!" he said highly irritated.

I turned and stared him down, my brows cocked staring at him, my mouth pursed tightly closed. I felt my irritation with him, I must have looked a fright. His eyes nearly bugged out of his head seeing my expression. He laughed nervously. "Are you sure you are not kin to Elrond? Cause just now, you looked just like him with your brows cocked like that." he shivered. "Scary."

I smiled deviously, "Thank...you" I emphasized the words. "I take that as a compliment. I love Elrond, he is like the daddy to all of Middle Earth." I told him turning back and looking at my computer screen. As I typed in a message, silent between the two of us ensued...for a while.

Just when I thought things were going to get quieter, and relaxed, he started his junk again.

At first it was subtle, first it was deep sighs let out like he was bored. Then it went to humming, ' I'm Henry the eighth I am', which was getting on my nerves. I turned to him and stared him down, he got the point quickly on that one. He stopped and mouthed 'I'm sorry'.

Then Just as the silence was getting comfortable, he suddenly, in a burst of energy, hollered out, "Bingo!" his sudden burst of energy caused me to nearly pop out my skin, my keyboard went flying, the mouse fell from the pad, not to mention I nearly fell from my chair. I looked at him, and he was sitting on my bed, with no shirt, only leggings, his long fair blond hair hung loose, every taunt muscle displayed for my enjoyment, he was looking at and reading one of my romance novels. I furrowed my brows in confusion. "What on Earth was that about?" I asked, kind of curious.

"Oh, nothing" he said shortly, then pointed to the page, " The sex scene. Damn! This guy is good. Care to try what he did out?" he asked wiggling his brows at me, smiling cheekily, as he seductively rubbed the mattress beside him. I shook my head, rolled my eyes.

I stared at him. On any given night, when I was not tired, I would gladly take him up on that, but tonight I just wanted to relax. "Haldir. Will you please go do something else. Find Phin and Ru..or Leggy even..just leave me be." I begged him sweetly.

"Can't Sorry, my love. Phin and Ru are at some party with Leggy. Won't be back until later." he stopped, laid on his left side and looked at me. "Besides, I want to spend time with you."

Oh that did it! The sweetest thing he could ever say, but that did not help matters for him. I grabbed up my keyboard and mouse, laid them on the desk. "Haldir, as sweet as that sounds, and as much as I love you, your efforts are fruitless, now go bug the Lady." I told him.

"Can't do that either. Its hers and Celeborn's anniversary. They are doing who only knows what right now." he said sitting up on the side of the bed.

"Find Erestor or Glorfindel and play a game. How about Yahtzee? You like that game." I reasoned with him.

He smiled. "Sounds good, can we play in here?" He asked.

"Yes. But quietly as possible. I can handle the sound of the game cup rattling." feeling good that we made a compromise.

Fifteen minutes later. Erestor walked in the room with the game. I sat there watching these two beautiful elves sitting up the game. Few more minutes passed and I settled in to hearing the game, and having some peace.

Halfway through their game. Erestor yelled out. Now most think he is smart, and he is, but there is a secret about him no one knows about. He is dingy..you know blond joke type of dingy.** (No offense to blond readers or elves for that matter.)** he is utterly stupid in some things. Ever heard of Book smarts but no street smarts? Well that is Erestor all book knowledge, but no actual experience in other things. Like for instance, one knows never to sit below a low-lying shelf, especially when you are nearly six feet three. "Yahtzee!" BANG! Then a loud thud. He had jumped up and cracked his head on the shelf above his head. "Ouchy!" he said rubbing his head.

I laughed out when it happened, Haldir looked at me shooting a scowl at me, then to the esteemed counselor. "You alright, mellon?" Haldir asked concerned for his friend.

"Yes..let us continue..I think it is my turn again." he said picking up the cup, the dice and began rolling again. I watched a moment. He let the dice roll...another Yahtzee. I winced again as he jumped up.

BANG! Then the thud again. I giggled and Haldir began to fight the urge to laugh out. The whole thing seemed so familiar, you know the scene from that movie that makes fun of other scary movies especially when the theme was from M. Night Shamaylan's _Signs_. Well anyhoo...

"You know, maybe this game is not a good idea. Erestor...to the Closet!...Have Elrond look at your head while you are at it!" I commanded him pointing to the little room with all my clothes and other elves that seem to dwell in there at times. Erestor packed up the game, rubbing his noggin, I looked to Haldir. "Haldir, go with him." I said to him.

"No, I want to be with you." he said adamantly.

I sighed a little. "Alright. But be quiet." I told him, putting up my feet on the edge of the bed.

I began reading one of my favorite on-line stories again. A great one written by a dear friend of mine, who Haldir is really peeved at right now and even a little hurt...she killed him off in the story. He keeps mumbling, "Damn! I should be more famous than Glorfindel but I am not, Leggy is. Hell, I have died more than any one elf alive. Damn! Peter J for starting the whole thing!"

He said that around Leggy just the other day, and Leggy told him, "Well at least you are not the only elf in middle earth that is homosexual and pregnant all the time!" Haldir admitted he had him beat.

Just as I settled into reading the latest chapters. Not paying any attention to what was going, I suddenly felt my toes getting pulled and wiggled. Then the whispers of the old rhyme. "This little piggy went to the market, this little piggy stayed home, this little piggy had roast beef, and this little piggy had none, and THIS little piggy..." He stopped once he realized I had caught on, looked up, smiled deviously, then continued. He grabbed my little toe between his thumb and first finger. "WEE! WEE! WEE! all the way home!" he wiggled my toe really fast, causing me to laugh until I almost peed on myself.

"Stop it, Haldir!" I told him between giggles.

"Alright. How about this?" he asked, reaching out and grabbing me, pulling me toward him and kissed me. Fully, hotly, and passionately on the lips. After a few moments of moaning in the kiss, and nearly losing consciousness from lack of oxygen, he released me. "Better?"

I looked up in to his crystal blue eyes, took a hand and caressed his cheek. He smiled down at me.

"You know, elves are so immature when it comes to boredom, why?" I asked him.

He kissed my nose. "Because, my sweet, we are free-spirited." he kissed my cheek. "And when our lovers are tired, and hurting, we want to cheer them up. It's in my nature." he said looking deeply into my eyes.

"It is not in your nature. I just think it is because you have never truly grown up." I told him kissing his chin.

"Ah, yes, my smart little love did it again. She figgered me out!" he said looking around knowing he was caught.

"Haldir, you are like a billboard, _Whoomp there it is_!" I laughed out, his laughter joined mine, it was deep and heartily felt.

"Now, can I rub your feet?" he asked cheekily.

"Only if its only rubbing and not tickling." I told him.

The End...FOR now!

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><p>Please Review...hit the button, if you dare...More to come...<p> 


	2. Story TWO: Of Elves and Star Wars

**Of Elves and **_**Star Wars**_

By Haldirsbaby

Rated: M (for safety)

Time: Not movie or book verse.

Characters: Haldir, OC, Erestor, Glorfindel, Rumil, Orophin, Elladan, Elrohir, Legolas

Genre: Humor

Warnings: Adult Content. Implications, language, Completely Raw, and crude humor.

Spoiler: Haldir is alive, and he with his brothers and others are Rotten..its why we love them so much.

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings, its characters, Star Wars, or 'glow in the dark' condoms. The OC and plot, inspirations are mine. No money is made from this work of fiction. I completely respect Peter Jackson, Tolkien, and of course, George Lucas. There is no pun or malice intended in this work.

Summary: Find out what the elves decided to do to help the OC relax after a long day at work.

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><p>Note: I would like to dedicate this to a friend of a friend named <strong>Johnny<strong>. Who thought Glow in the dark condoms were cool and mentioned _Star Wars_.. Don't ask why he told it to me, I have no clue, He is who he is. The inspiration hit me like a ton of bricks and I had to share it. _**IF YOU ARE UNDER 18 TURN BACK NOW!**_

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><p>I came through my front door, hoping to find a decent and quiet evening at home with my hunky Haldir muse, and maybe a little chick flick action. But instead what I found, had me rolling on the inside laughing and <em>a little<em> appalled on the outside.

Haldir muse had told me he was going out to explore the establishments in the area, get to know the grounds around my town and familiarize himself with the people, but instead he and his brothers found the one place I never expected them to find. So you can only imagine what they were thinking by going in there.

I stepped into my door after hearing what sounded like the electronic sounds of a Light saber from '_Star Wars'._ I furrowed my brow, hoping it was all innocent, with no such luck, they are elves. So I braced myself and slipped in unnoticed. Now I should say, what I found was a complete total opposite on what I had originally thought.

Inside, there sat Haldir, both his brothers, Erestor, Glorfindel, both of Elrond's Twins, and Legolas in various places about the room. All engrossed in some sort of exploration of two certain brown paper bags in which was not known to me. I watched in silence.

My eyes fixed on the eight very handsome, hunky elves, all of which has their own charming flare, it soon came to me what they were doing. Instead of them watching the flick '_Star Wars'_ they sat there each with a very large stick looking things in their hands that jiggled with movement and stretching out what looked like brightly colored balloons.

Something about the way the sticks were shaped caused me think on it. It looked strange and yet excitingly familiar to me. When the thought struck me and I know beyond all reasoning, I nearly fainted. Each one of the sticks had to be at least three inches in diameter and about two feet long with two heads.

My eyes nearly bugged out of my head, when Elrohir and Elladan stood up after putting the balloons on the their sticks and began to spar. Each challenging each other.

Too shocked for words, and I know, cause when I tried to speak, nothing came out. My jaw dropped, my eyes fixed upon the desk. There sat this extra-large box of condoms, that read on the package, **"Glow in the Dark**". It got more strange when Legolas stood up, turned the lamp on and off, the little 'balloons' lit up and then off again with each flick of the switch.

After a few more moments, I heard Rumil and Orophin began to hum the theme song to '_Star Wars' _and began to fight with their two sticks. Next what came, caused me to just about pee myself laughing. Haldir and Erestor, who both are usually so reserved, and so grounded, stood up and began fighting each other, both making the electronic swishing sounds of the Light sabers from the movie.

My only thought: What the Fuck!

I watched in silence as a battle ensued between the six elves, blond and dark color hair all flying about the room, their stances each matching each other. Then it happened.

CRASH! There went the computer desk.

BANG! There went the darn chest of drawers to the floor.

Then a quick "Oomph!". There went Haldir to the floor as Elladan and Elrohir knocked him over with the giant double-headed dildo saber. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I said it...dildos.

Soon, Legolas and Glorfindel, who both decided to add the special effects to the shebang both began humming the theme song again and turning out the lights so the 'dildo light sabers' could be seen. Then the grunts of Orophin and Rumil as they bashed each other with their 'little light' up swords. The fight was unlike anything I had ever seen. After a few moments in the dark, watching the fight go on, I had had enough.

"What in the Hell is going on here!" I yelled out, turning on the switch near the bedroom door.

All the elves stopped hid their little dildo light sabers behind their backs, looking innocent and completely like children in a real pickle of trouble. Haldir smiled broadly. "Hey, baby, When did you get home?" he asked taking his free hand, hoping I would not see, and knocking the box of condoms off the desk to the floor at his feet then tried to hide the box with his foot.

I walked like a sly cat into the room, making my way over to where the box of condoms now laid. I picked it up, and read the carton out loud. "Condoms of Champions: For his and her pleasure. Glow in the Dark." I reached in the box, pulled out one of the little square packages and held it up so they could all see. "Gee, I do not think I have to ask where the hell you got all these." I picked up one of the double-headed dildos and held it up. I looked at it, a sly smile on my face appeared. Haldir threw down his 'Sword' and smiled nervously. He went to speak, but I cut him off. "Save it, Haldir. Why pray tell me, are you guys playing with dildos and glow in the dark condoms?" I asked, trying very hard not to laugh at their faces as they shown with embarrassment.

Elladan looked at me, his eyes showing no signs of remorse. He smiled broadly. "It's Leggy's fault. He said it would be cool to play _Star Wars._"

Leggy who was now completely, utterly speechless went to charge at Elladan, but was held back by Glorfindel and Rumil. "You Lie, you dark-haired Freak of Elven nature!"

Elrohir piped in. "Yeah, its Leggy's fault. He introduced us to _Star Wars_ the other day, and we then in turn introduced Haldir, Rumil and Orophin. We all wondered if it was different from actual swords."

I looked at the elves shocked by this blame game. "Guys, does this look like the damn Light saber from the damn movie?" I asked them grabbing the dildo at Haldir's feet. "Look it is flesh colored, rigid, and, my god, it has two freaking heads! Not to mention, it has no freaking 'turn on' switch nor does the damn condom cut through flesh like it ain't nothing'"

"Who needs a 'turn on' switch? One look and the saber just calls to the lust deep inside." Glorfindel said smiling. Haldir hit him in the chest to shut the Balrog slayer up.

Now completely amused deep within that these elves, considered so intelligent, curious, and revered among the people of middle earth, could be so, darn silly. Haldir smiled at me. "Sweetling, it was just a bit of fun. That is all. Do not fault us."

I looked at him utterly surprised by his actions. "Haldir, shut up, you silly goof ball! I thought you were just going to check out some of the stores. My God! Did you have to check out the adult store? I mean, you of all people should know about this stuff. You know better. I mean, hell, you watch lesbian porn on my computer when you think I am asleep..EWW Totally gross I might add. Did you honestly think I would not say anything about this?" I said shaking the darn dildo in my hand and it jiggled around. The others in the room began laughing at me. Haldir shook his head.

"Well it looked interesting from the outside." he defended himself. Before I could respond I was cut off.

"Okay, so this was all a gag. You can not say it was not funny. Honestly, I mean, all we did was find it interesting. A mockery really." Erestor defended their actions.

I looked at him, then the evidence around the room. The condoms they had tried on the end of these monstrous dildos. I smiled. "It was a bit amusing, but do not do it again. I mean, hell, guys, did you have to do it today?"

Haldir, being his normal self again, smiled wrapped an arm around my shoulder, kissed my forehead. "Yes. We all know how much you have been working, we thought we could help you out by creating a diversion."

Sarcastically I looked at him smiled. "Aww, baby, that is so sweet. Now get this shit out of here." Leggy, Orophin, Rumil, Glorfindel, and Erestor began to gather up the dildos and the opened condoms. Elladan and Elrohir opened the bags as they dropped them in. After they were done, and just as Rumil went to pick up the condom box, I stopped him. "No. These stay here."

He looked at me funny, smiled, then left with the others. Holding up an unopened package, I looked at Haldir, a devilish grin plastered on my face. "Hey Haldir."

He looked at me strangely as he was cleaning up the paper on the floor. "Yes?" he said cocking a brow.

"How about we see how these measure up on real hard pole." I wiggled a brow.

He cocked his head to the side then smiled. "I was thinking of that earlier today."

He stood up, grabbed me around the waist. I wrapped my fingers in his unbound hair. "Only, this time, I do not want to hear the theme song to _Star wars_, alright?"

He smiled down at me, and kissed my nose. "Why?"

"Because if you do, it will burned into the memories of our relationship forever. And I do not want that." I kissed his lips.

The END...until next time...

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><p>Please Review<p> 


	3. StoryTHREE:Wrath ofthe Pissed Off Writer

The Revenge of the Pissed off Writer

by Haldirsbaby

Rating: PG13(for bad language)

Spoilers: Elves were hurt a little, but for good reasons...they all recovered from injuries I inflicted and still Love me and I still love them...m..K...

Warning...A little graphic meanness here, but what's a writer to do when her muse pisses her off?..

Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR, Characters, or ME...Tolkien owns them...Only borrowed for my enjoyment.

Timeline: Modern Day.

Players: Celebrien, OC, Galadriel, Arwen, Haldir, Rumil, Orophin

Summary: My heart was broke, and I had to teach the elves how it feels.

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><p>Note: Little funny, but not much...You may become appalled on what happens..but try and look at the little humor that is here.<p>

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><p>Tough times hit hard, all the time anymore. I can't help who I am and what I have become.<p>

Ideas run rampant in my mind, stories play out like short videos and sniplets, but when I try to get them out on paper...Nothing happens.

Oh, joy...

The downfall came when I met a man in my real life. He was wonderful in my eyes, held all the qualities I so desperately wanted in my life, but there was one true problem..His problems. Separation came and what made matters worse, I lost my new love and with that loss, my ability to write, create and think clearly.

Haldir, who always seemed to be the pillow under my head, the soothing voice in my mind, the comfort I always sought in times like these. Got on my nerves one last time.

It happened, he pissed me off.

I stood there, looking at that beautiful elf before me, who at one point was the light in my life in trouble times, but today, he did the unthinkable. He told me to forget the man, and focus on my writings.

Like a feral beast, whose home had been violated by a predator, I began tearing up all that stood in my path...including Haldir..

Going to the bathroom, I searched high and low, for the right weapon to use against him. A plunger, well, it would do good to hit him, maybe give him a good pumpkin knot, but I felt bad at that thought. Not to mention the thought of the poop particles hitting him, just did not seem right. I looked around more...the toilet brush. No that too was just wrong, brushing his fine elven skin with toilet chemicals, poop particles and leaving behind the blue coloring of cleaners, just seemed a little, wrong.

So I picked the deadliest weapon that would do the least amount of damage..a towel..

Taking the extra thick towel, I wet it, as I did, Haldir stood outside the bathroom door, banging hard, and yelling, "Darling, please. Don't be mad."

Continuing my task of soaking the towel I sweetly replied, "Oh, I am not mad. Not at all, you just severely annoyed me and will pay dearly for it."

With that, I got the towel from the sink. Begin to sling it in the air twisting and twisting until it was so tight that water dripped freely from it, like a small river. I slung open the door, holding the towel from view. Haldir stepped back, looking all sorry, and full of concern. "Baby, are you alright?" he asked. Usually his concern always touched my heart, but not today. It just pissed me off more.

I slid up to him, smiled sweetly, oh revenge would be so sweet now, kissed his lips, backing away so he could not touch me. He looked down at me, with hope of forgiveness in his eyes. I backed off, bringing the towel to my front holding it with both hands. Haldir's eyes grew to the size of small saucers as he realized, I was still mad.

I began my flicking motions, hitting him hard on his beautifully toned back, leaving red marks in the wake of my assault. The whole time, he cried out in pain as I hit him over and over. "That is for telling me to forget him!" A quick snap. "This is for being an asshole!" Snap, again! "And That," one more hard flick, "is for being a male!"

By the time I was finished, I stood at my front door, staring at a thoroughly hurt elf, who seemed to be on the verge of tears. Taking out my phone, I snapped pictures of his face. Boy, won't the other wardens love to see these to prove that their esteemed March warden was a cry baby. Finally, I slammed the door with a loud bang, pictures flew from the wall nearby from the force of it.

Oh, how sweet this felt. Now, I can rest. Sitting down at my computer, I began to stare at a blank page. A message came up from a friend, who had heard of my pain. Talked to her a moment, but my phone began to alert me. A text message. Rolling my eyes, I looked down to see Haldirmuse's number.

Viewing the message, I rolled my eyes again. Our texting war began.

_**Haldir: **__Baby, forgive me. I am sorry_

_**Me: **__Fuck off!_

_**Haldir: **__Let go of the pain, baby. Let me come home._

_**Me: **__Fuck off you stupid elf!_

_**Haldir: **__Baby, you need me__**.**_

Having had enough, I told him more harshly.

_**Me: **__No. I don't want you or anyone anymore._

The phone rings, I looked down to find he was now calling me. I rolled my eyes and pressed the ignore button. Elves and their damned persistence!

I continued my conversation with my friend and soon heard a knock at the door.

I stomped through the house, just knowing it was Haldirmuse coming to grovel. Yes, girls, he grovels, more than anyone knows. I slung open the door to find before me, both Rumil and Orophin, looking quite cute and innocent. I knew deep down why they were there. "What the hell do you two want?"

"We come to check on you. Haldir said you were feeling poorly.' Orophin said looking concerned.

"I am fine. Go away!" I said feeling the irritation growing.

"You are not fine. Haldir is a mess and told us what happened. Please talk to us." Rumil said imploringly.

"Okay, I am not fine. You two, and your asshole brother, have no clue what it is like to be brokenhearted. Elves don't have to endure broken hearts and can die from them, making them the luckiest bastards on the planet. Humans have to live it, each day. So you two could never fully understand and neither can he." I said beginning to shut the door. Orophin stopped me, and peered in the door.

"Then tell us." he said staring me in the eye.

Okay, I thought, but how to emphasize it. I looked at him. "It feels as though you are kicked in the teeth and gut at the same time." I then did the one thing to emphasize my point. Taking my foot, I buried it into the groin of Orophin, then Rumil.

Both elves doubled over, their eyes nearly rolling into the back of their heads. Their faces turned red, then green as they felt the pain. Both hit their knees, their balls covered with their hands, as if that will help relieve the pain. I stared at them unfeeling. "Now, do you understand?" I asked.

Both elves shoot their heads. I slammed the door in their faces.

Fuming I returned to my perch upon the chair in front of my computer again. My friend gone now and was watching a movie. Which happened to be my favorite, but now held no meaning for me, cause it reminded me of what I knew I would never feel again. Love, arms, kissing, hugging or cuddling...God it was making me sick. I turned it off. A knock came again.

Surely it was not Haldir, or Rumil and Orophin, they could not be stupid enough to show up again. I got up, again, and went to answer the door.

To my surprise, there stood, three generations of married, beautiful ellith. Galadriel, Celebrian, and Arwen. I smiled sweetly at them, but they did not smile at me.

"We must speak, little one." the lady said looking at me concerned.

"About what?" I asked innocently.

"The three elves now in my husband's healing halls, each suffering injuries brought on by your hands, and a tale so unbelievable we had to come and find out why." Celebrian chimed in sweetly.

"Oh, that. Yeppers, I did it, and they all deserved it. Are they gonna live?" I asked walking from the door to stand in the middle of the living room.

"Yes, but what they told us, disturbed us greatly. We know you and are quite shocked you would go through such extremes. Why?" Arwen asked.

The three elven ladies came in the door and looked at me. I laughed out loud. "Oh, you do not want to know why. You could not comprehend." I told them..Did I have to really hurt them too? I was prepared to do it.

The lady looked at me, she heard my thoughts. "Yes, you may have to. For it will only prove you have gone mad. But explain to us why you feel as you do, we can understand it." the lady said eyeing me.

I looked at her. "My, lady, you can read minds, but you cannot feel what a person feels. To put into simple words...well, you can't you have to feel it yourself." I told her.

I came forward, not really planning to do it, but it was the best I could come up with. I reached out punching each lady in the chest, right on their boobs all three of them crying out in pain, but when I hit the lady she did something that I thought was so funny I nearly peed my pants.

As I hit her as hard as I could, and pinched her nipples into a Texas titty twister, she cried and snorted at the same time. Yes, ladies, she snorts. It was almost sad it was so annoying. With each of them holding their chests moaning, and Galadriel snorting out in pain. "Now you know what it feels like to really hurt." I told them feeling no ills on what I had just done to them.

The lady looked up at me, pain behind her eyes. I hardened myself against that knowing stare. The three women left, I slammed the door behind them.

I laid down that night, feeling alone, and quiet. I thought on the day, the things I had done, and realized, I had no ill feelings for any of it. My writing was gone, my heart tore in two and no aspects for the future...What a life this will be.

The End For Now

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><p>More to come...please review.<p> 


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